Ever trained for a marathon – or a half – or a 5k? Turns out it’s kind of like having and/or breastfeeding a newborn. Here are some observations in the first month I’ve had a newborn around, in comparison to the two half marthons, 10ks, 5ks, and all the running that went with them*.
You stink a lot.
Its not just me, right? My body odor is TER-RI-BLE lately – and I am even lucky enough to get regular showers in. I can only imagine it’s so the baby can identify me? Either way, I wake up and walk around as rank as an 8-miler who had to drive 45 minutes home in their own stink. Maybe more. Also, please tell me this happens to other women, because I missed this in all the postpartum pieces I’ve ever read.
Staying on top of hydration.
So this goes more for moms choosing/having the ability to breastfeed; but much like trying to hydrate for an 8 pm 6 mile stretch after work – you definitely have to stay on top of your water intake. It’s also a great idea to hydrate during the act of running or feeding; as water absolutely has a positive impact on your performance. And don’t think I haven’t also made the observation over energy/protein bars and lactation cookies, either…
Mastering the appropriation of naps.
Nothing says ‘the struggle’ to someone working over 40 hours a week and trying to get in some miles after work. Also with motherhood, naps take an important and neccessary budget into your time management. To properly prep for unpredictable feedings and changing sessions for a newborn, a nap in the afternoon or early evening will really help out. Only the newly mothered and runners would try to take a nap at 7 or 8 in the evening and not think they’re completely insane (okay, maybe also college students prepping for a rager – that’s for another time).
Becoming obsessed with data.
There are so many apps out there: Runkeeper for mileage, measuring your splits, and your time; music playlists, hydration counters – there may be even more for new moms to track baby data. Since the only way to track the healthy intake of a newborn is overall weight and soiled diapers, tracking these things will put your mind at ease. I use an app that times feedings, documents which side I’m on, diapers and their contents, baths, shots, sleep, hell shit I’m not even using. And you’re excited to track all of these things, because they show progress. That first real poopy diaper was a bigger relief to me than when I first broke a 14 minute mile (look. I’m admittedly not fast at running. Never have been. But! I lapped everyone on the couch!)
Constantly needing earbuds, or a constant stream of audio entertainment.
The long stretches need some entertainment. Whether it’s cool down stretching when you’d so much rather just be in bed already, those 5 miles that aren’t at the beginning of your run OR the end of your run, or those 3:30 a.m. feedings in the dark – you’re going to need some music or a show or a podcast or 50 voicemails to listen to the in the event there’s not really anyone else around to chat with. Another observation – how did people parent before I could watch shows and google everything about babies from a smart phone at 4 in the morning?!?!?
You try not to bring it up in conversation with other people and fail.
Do you know a runner? You know how they’re a runner? They will tell you. Over and over again. They’re obsessed. ESPECIALLY over brunch, because you had to plan it around their long run that weekend. Do you know a new mom? Of course you do – they constantly bring it up because that is their entire life right now. Some of us fall deeper into the hormone driven “new mom” cloud than others, so if your friend looks, sounds, and acts like a completely different person, she is. And don’t worry – she’ll be back. I don’t know about runners though. They may have to like fuck up their knee or something and stop running to ever be back to normal.
You’re constantly looking at a daily schedule trying to fit things in.
Every runner has thought “How am I going to get four miles in on either Wednesday or Thursday this week AND still make it to happy hour?”. Every new mom has thought “I forgot to eat lunch today, I better set a reminder to make myself eat lunch tomorrow**.
There’s a big, physical event to plan for.
One ends at a finish line, one ends with you in a bed having gone through the most surreal event of your life.
Sometimes you lose your damn mind.
One time during a run, I got me and another lady lost on an 8 mile run in an unfamiliar place – and my dumb ass forgot to bring water. Our 8 mile run turned into 11 miles, had it not been for our running coach that came to retrieve us in his car. I’m sure I’ve lost my mind sometime in the past month, I just can’t remember what it was.
The pace at the beginning seems like forever.
I absolutely dreaded the first 3 to 5 miles of a long run. They were the worst. They were boring, they felt like an uphill battle. I thought it was never going to end. My body was being tested. I had no idea what I was doing. I hadn’t slept in days. The baby just wanted to eat constantly and no one had warned me about cluster feeding – wait, that’s not running. That’s having a newborn.
You MIGHT lose weight… Might.
I did two half marathons in 2013 and never changed a pant size. It’s now 2017, and in my one month postpartum state, I’m wearing pajama pants I couldn’t wear after recovering from a broken ankle in 2014. Go figure. Some women lose a lot of weight breastfeeding, some don’t. Do not shame yourself if you don’t – every body is different, and you are remarkable, amazing, and loved despite the fact you just made and delivered a little loving creature (or nightmare. whatevs).
Carb loading (Maybe?)
I had completely forgotten you’re supposed to consume extra calories while breastfeeding. I’ve also forgotten to feed my dog a couple of times (thanks for picking that up, husband), brushed my own teeth, and how to spell a lot of words. You’d think my phone would come to my saving grace at those times, but no, go ahead and make me look like a damn ducking fool.
Obligatory “OMG it was all SOOOOO worth it” conclusion bullet.
Seriously – you ever notice how ever single article follows this template?
- Horrible thing
- Horrible thing
- Gross thing
- Horrible thing
- Thing of nightmares
- WOULDN’T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING OMG LIFE CHANGING #BLESSED
Counterpoint: There’s medals for the pain you get during halfs and marathons – there’s no medal for pain during labor. Get that epidural if you want, boss lady. #GirlPower
*Don’t be fooled. There’s lots of walking involved in my running.
** You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself!
