Dear Hipsters:
You are a fabulous foursome, you really, truly are.
Here I am, minding my own business, before your undoubtedly impressive feat!
As it turns out, the Black Keys, which some of us were introduced to, years ago (circa 2006 or 2007) just happen to be opening for the Kings of Leon at Aaron’s Ampitheater, here in Atlanta.
In my knowledge of them for years, I am familiar with some of their songs.
I feel that many of their songs have a similar baseline,
But I have enjoyed their skewed performances on late night talk shows, random downloads, etc.
But you guys.
Man.
You guys, sitting directly in front of me, two rows down.
You guys REALLY know what’s going on.
As soon as their song, “Tighten Up” begins,
Which, just so happens to be on VH1’s Top 20,
You jump to your feet!
Wow!
Hey guys, I KNOW THIS SONG!
Isn’t it amazing?
Here,
Watch me, as I girate to the song.
It is only us who truly know this band.
After all, VH1 told us to.
Thank you for demonstrating your full knowledge of the Black Keys.
Perhaps you even know some of the words.
Look at you, taking ownership of this song
You were born to sing this song
Make it yours, hipster! You are THE SHIT!
We are all so goddamn impressed.
Sing and dance.
Sing and sway.
The song ends.
(Oh wait, that’s NOT their last song?
And you have to sit down again, because that’s the only song you know?
But only you’ve completely blocked my view of said song?
Since you were the ONLY people in our entire section standing up?)
Awww.
You hipsters are so cute.
Look at you, you know all about this opening act.
Congratulations, idiots.
