Having been watching dating shows since about 2004, I’d say I’m pretty up-to-speed on my critiques. I watch them all – the good, the bad, and the tacky. I also watch the offspring of said shows and watch the terrible, awful, time consuming drama that I then put on repeat by watching The Soup. Yes, I am a connoisseur of the dating show.
And here we go with Frank the Entertainer and his Basement Affair, who is so undoubtedly entertaining, VH1 was nice enough to let him sing the opening song for his show (this reminds me of another self promoting musician show or two… hmm… or three…)
In the world of dating shows, this is the the cheap wine you hide in the back of the fridge that only costs $4, you’re embarrassed to even own, and that you drink when no one else is around – and won’t be, for hours. Frank, a guy who’s made the rounds on some VH1 shows by trying to bag “New York” and failing to win at “I Love Money” on several accounts, now has tricked 15 women into fighting for his attention.
Yeah, a 31-year-old guy working on his “reality career” living with his parents sounds like a real winner to me. What, these chicks didn’t have anything better to do? Half of them are actually attractive and look like they could be respectable women (or at least land a nice sugar daddy) – although there is some share of fug on this show…
80% of the time his mom is hanging over their every move? And did I just hear that mother tell a 30-year-old woman to act her age when she has THAT for a son? He uses a microwave to time his “seven minutes in heaven” with each woman so they can show him their talents? Really? He times two minutes on a microwave? I’ve gotten plenty of timers for a dollar. And showing a talent in these two minutes? Isn’t this the EXACT same setup as the “For the Love of Ray Jay” show that I didn’t watch? Isn’t that also quite the stretch from “Seven Minutes in Heaven” they referred to earlier?
Here’s some tidbits on the gals:
Hold the phone. One of these chicks is a LAW STUDENT? HA! Perhaps in a LEGAL ADMINISTRATION (ASSISTANT) program! Look! I can lie to make myself look better too!
Oh God. The fugger named Annie “loves trash” and considers gluing randomly found objects together with hot glue “meditative”.
A really pretty girl came on to tell The Entertainer about how she overcame a brush with cancer and now life is too short. So, I guess she wants someone to have fun with since life is now too short to be tied down to some silly old career that he doesn’t have…
My vote goes to the girl who crushed a beer can in her cleavage. I bet they could have some fun. Maybe afterwards they could recycle them and save up for their own trailer home!
No matter, this show still gives me exactly what I need in a bad dating show – complete and udder self validation that I’M making better decisions and doing better than these idiots on television… It’s a complete self confidence booster for my intelligence, and yet, I must be an idiot to keep watching…
