[Upon seeing that Jake is not going to pick Tenley and is about to give the “I don’t love you” speech]
Cheryl: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Mer: God.
Cheryl: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Mer: Fucking. Damnit.
Cheryl: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
i kinda knew and im still so so SAD
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
[Jake begins to cry]
Mer: uh oh
CRY YOU ASSHOLE
[Tenley pours her heart out about being thankful for the situation she has been given despite the fact that she should be saying “you’re stupid, I’m the most amazing woman ever”]
oh god. she is amazwoman.
wow there’s not even music
this is intense
Cheryl: lol
ugh
Mer: “thank you for making me feel special.”
my heart breaks for her.
[Jake looks like he made a mistake]
Mer: change your mind
DO IT!!
Cheryl: lol we laughed at that
Mer: yeah this is why I think she can do better than him
[Side note: THIS FACE? Is why he doesn’t deserve her. When someone is pouring their heart out and saying they “have loved falling in love with you”, you do NOT roll your eyes back in your head and look at them with the “Why are you doing this to me?” eyes.
She’s doing everything she can to hold it together and leave on a good, positive, healthy note, and all he can do is roll his eyes because she’s making him hurt more by doing the nice girl thing. All he has to do is listen to what she has to say, thank her, and send her off. Instead, he acts like a spoiled child ready to quit the baseball game because he didn’t make the home run he wanted to.
Okay /rant]
[Scene change to Vienna]
Mer: “this is the life I’ve always wanted this is the guy I’ve always wanted”
HONEY THIS IS NOT YOUR LIFE
most selfish thing I’ve heard all day
and Tenley sits there and pours her heart out Mer: If I went bungee jumping and to St Lucia I’d think I could spend the rest of my life with them too. Could be just about anybody.
Cheryl: ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
you’re crazy
me: Yes.
Yes I am.
Cheryl: ugh
Mer: he’s an IDIOT
Cheryl: god
another idiotic beautiful man
what a waste
WASTE
Mer: hahahaha
aaaaand this is probably why I date average looking weirdos
Cheryl: tenley is so pretty 🙁
Mer: she’s like probably what God was intending when he took that rib bone
for real
Cheryl: for real
Mer: “When I found him I found myself”
clearly someone not ready to offer a half to two equal parts
SHE’S NOT AMAZING
Cheryl: brb
i need to throw up
Mer: Hell I’m more amazing than her
[Jake gives the promise ring back to Vienna]
Cheryl: wait
does he say no to both
please
please
oh
Mer: that would be amazing
Cheryl: fuck
false hope
he’s replacing it
Mer: did he slip the real ring in there
oh
I would kick him for tricking me
[Cue horrible, awful, song choice of “On the Wings of Love” – yes I know it was the theme, but still, LAME]
Mer: That song is vomit inducing
Cheryl: LOL
it’s really bad
like beauty and the beast
but opposite
