Dear Cowardly Men:
Let’s have a little chat, shall we? I have been dumped, to my face, twice in the past six years (I don’t remember dating before then). I have witnessed the disappearing act more times than I’d like to admit (I’d say this makes about 20 or so). You’d think I’d get used to this, and that I’d learn my lesson and just expect this from men.
The nice thing about being dumped to my face was I had some rationale to stick to the situation. Even though both came as a surprise, both of them hurt my stomach, both of them were concrete in their ending. I knew at that point I didn’t want anything to do with either of those guys. And I had the appropriate name to call them when it was done. Some were even specific, such as “Band-Aid Boy” (which I’m sure was just a fucking cop-out anyway) (and I’ve come to determine men will lie to you just to hurt you, shutting you up faster).
But why the disappearing act? Why do you need to drop off the face of the Earth? And why do you ALWAYS do it after a period of exceptional niceness on your behalf? Do you guys just like to build a woman up to let her down? I mean, obviously, you don’t care about letting her down if you’re just going to flake out. And that just makes me look like a crazy person – because I have absolutely no red flags, and I bother you three more times than I should, all because you couldn’t man up and tell me you’re not that into me. And I have to figure it out for myself, after you fall off the Earth. Even after I worry something may have happened to you (mostly because I’m a good person – but mostly because you give me no warning signs!)
Theory 1: Clearly this man is a coward. He doesn’t care that he’s letting me down (well, he cares so little on my end – he cares that he doesn’t see my feelings get hurt) (hey guy, we still hurt over here when you completely ignore us). He’s too chicken to say that I need to lose weight (yes, I’m aware of this, and I’ll lose it when I’m damn ready to, in the position to, for myself, not for some guy who’s just going to flake). They want to avoid confrontation. Fine! Do me a favor! You don’t want to argue with a woman? Don’t ever get married – because how are you ever supposed to decide where to vacation with a woman if you’re so afraid of arguing! How about how to deal with your real marital issues? I’d rather date someone who’s willing to argue with me and change my mind. That shows they give a damn about what I feel, anyway.
Theory 2: Clearly this man thinks there’s greener grass. Fine! You go out there and get that greener grass. I have a life to lead, and honestly, between eight hours of coursework, a full-time job, looking for a full-time job, and trying to move on with my life – your indecisiveness is really just in my way. I’ve done this dance before – You don’t think I’m good enough, and I change, and you just throw me away anyway. Look, guy, I’m educated, I’m getting more education, I’m a hard worker, a good dancer, a hell of a fun drinker, I can cook a great dinner, and I have the intelligence to pull it all together at the end of the day. If you aren’t prepared to tackle all I have going on – then good riddance. And, what about that grass? You don’t severe ties that way you can just walk back, months later, prattle on about silly thing that reminded you about us women, and get back into our lives? Really? Don’t you think that’s a little cold?
Do us all a favor and don’t date anyone. Because you’re all just huge disappointments.
~ Love ya
~ Mer
P.S — Yes, I’m a hard woman to love. You’re either going to give a fuck about who I am and what I think, and argue with me about it, or you don’t give a damn about what I think, therefore you don’t deserve me.
P.S.S…
— CLICK! DELETE!!
