I sent these tweets as a result of opting out of the usual cab fare from the Westin Crown Center in Kansas City to the airport that was supposed to be half an hour away. I think it ended up being closer to an hour. These are my tweets. Try to keep up.
[Our airport shuttle, which my coworker insist we take since it’s cheaper, who cares, it’s on the company dime; quickly fills up, no, strike that, slowly fills up as we have to drive to several hotels around the power and light district in downtown Kansas City. So now I’m crammed between the Peculiar Purple Pieman’s estranged wife and some really older fat white guy, who obviously can’t stop eating to the point where he needs to chew gum. AWKWARD.]
Scheske: Really excited to be sitting next to fat older gum chewing heavy breather in crowded shuttle to air
Scheske: The airport that’s half an hour away about
[Half hour trip now turning into a 45 minute trip]
Scheske: Should have gotten that second chocolatini
Scheske: Omg air shuttle soooo at capacity
Scheske: Should have paid twice as much for the cab uuughhhhhh
[And apparently having the words “in shuttle” almsot immediately qualifies you for @inshuttle to start following you. Dislike.]
Scheske: Hey @inshuttle stop following me or I will report you to SPAM as soon as I get to a computer
[Noises and cramped situations making me very uncomfortable.]
Scheske: Hitting every red light and the cow next to me keeps chewing gum uughhhhhh swallow it to one of your three stomachs alreadDyyyyyyyy
[Indeed, something MUST be done about this.]
Scheske: Will attempt to lead conversation to promote radio use in shuttle
Scheske: Success!!!
[Son of a BITCH, cab driver who’s first language wasn’t English when I suggest he try a “top 40” channel as to not offend/displease anyone in the cab. And by that I mean all 11 of us. Adults. ]
Scheske: First song on the radio at 1:30 in a car of professional is OF COURSE sexual healing
Scheske: Aawwwwwkwaarrdderrrrrr than silllleEnnncCcceee
[Again, something must be done. Wait, you know what? Screw it. I’m tired of having to lead every damned human being interaction I’ve come to deal with this weekend.]
[Waiting… And listening. To Marvin Gaye. Seduce someone. Okay cabbie, this is awkward.]
Scheske: Finally driver suggests changing the song
[Scratch scratch, tune, questionable, hesistant tuning fingers. Lands on… Classical?]
Scheske: Oh yes. Classical. That’s fine. Anythings better than synchronized gum chewing to make luv to ya woman jamz
[The music becomes somewhat dramatic as we pass over, what’s probably considered mountains out here.]
Scheske: Yes crescendo away at my exit out of this town! Get me out of here if it kills me! The dramatics of classical music!!
[Stop, hey, what’s that sound…? AGAIN!!?? NOOOO!!!]
Scheske: STOP CHEWING… OMGEEZERS
[Mild internal freakout]
Scheske: Campaign to start music and end chewing sound COMPLETE FAILUREEEEE
[Think, Mer, Think. THINK THINK THINK.]
Scheske: Just remembered sound deafening headphones and headphone jack in bb
Scheske: SUCCESSSS
Scheske: Meiko and slacker radio for bb saves the day!
Scheske: Thank god I own so many headphones they’re secretly in places I need
[Finally to airport an hour later and away from strange people.]
Scheske: Apparently my portfolio weighs three lbs. That’s the difference between me and fifty bucks on sw.
Reply: @GTown_Cowboy_2C Glad you could vent via Twitter. Would hate to read Texan goes crazy. Eight wounded, one dead from being choked with gum.
Reply: @amrlenart told you so about that 2nd chocolatini!
Scheske: Standing at window in airport. Lady is CHANGING HER BABY on faux leather seat. REALLY?!!
[Absolutely disgusted]
Scheske: Sitting on plane in pair of seats coworker picked
Scheske: Two infants
[One being aforementioned leather seat chair shit baby who is now sounding like they have colics. I have to share recycled air with this kid AND run four miles Saturday??! DON’T THINK SO!]
Scheske: No ipod
[And BB battery is dying. SHIT!!]
Scheske: FML to infinity
[Finally land. This terrible ad is now in some flight mag.]
Scheske: Worst flowchart EVER http://twitpic.com/1nipcg
Scheske: About to depart dallas! Things look GREAT!!
[Texas never looked better to me :)]
